This is my life … This is my journey

IMG_20150309_183129319I’ve spent a lifetime self-destructing in very public ways. I’m hoping others will learn what it was like, what happened and what it is like now for me. It isn’t necessary to completely lose it all before saying … “this is where the madness ends”. Life is about more than breathing… it’s about feeling alive. Here starts the blog journey…

My “crash and burn” moment happened September 2013.  I was living in an oceanfront condo in Florida with a pug named Shmuli and not much else. I had destroyed my latest marriage and everything else that crossed my path…. no more wife, no more money, no more kids, no more friends…. just me, the pug, a Mercedes Benz and my best friend Anita! I thank God for Anita!

On September 29th, 2013 (my daughter’s birthday) I decided to do something I had not done in years. I picked up the phone and dialed my parents for help. My options were to get help or commit suicide. Something was going to happen and it was going to happen that day. I could not exist as I was for another 24 hours. Fortunately, my mother answered the phone and made arrangements for me to enter long term treatment. Anita packed a suitcase and my father and I flew off to Rancho Mirage, California where I began the process of recovery…

I’ve often said that “I’ve done everything except Micheal Jackson!” … early on I learned how to smoke, drink, drug and even steal ashtrays from hotel rooms where I committed adultery! My life is what it is and I make no apologies for it. My closets are empty by design… once I realized I had nothing to hide… I had nothing to fear…. I was free!

This blog is not about the past … I don’t live there any more …  it’s about living every moment that I’m given and hopefully contributing to others that struggle with addiction.

Feel free to ask me any question and I’ll answer it honestly as possible.

This is how my sober life began …

robcan2

I'm a sober guy living life on life's terms... I’m making the rest of my life the best of my life !

19 comments

  • Keep moving forward Rob, be strong and keep focused it means so much to those in need that you share your experiences.

    Liked by 1 person

  • Incredibly raw and honest. Thank you for sharing and letting us be a part of your journey. I will pray for you and for strength. God Bless!
    Darlene

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  • I just wanna say I enjoy all your posts, comments, etc…. I have a daughter, 22 this week that just got out of jail this past week for drug addiction.. my husband and I put her there, she became a mother at 15 and has a daughter with down syndrome, had another baby at 17, the younger daughter is in the custody of her biological father at the time but I have wanted to reach out many times when seeing your posts…I want so bad for my daughter to be as strong as you. I want her to live life and not just exist..I show her your posts regularly but I’m not sure if I was ever getting thru…I worry now that she will stay sober, she says all the right things but idk if she’s strong enough or 100% ready.. she has to prove herself before she can regain custody of her younger daughter..the older ones father is very reasonable and understands her special needs and I’ve been raising them since birth anyway… Any advice for a mother of an addict? I fear that if she goes back she will lose the one daughter and her father will not let us see her if that happens. Thanks for listening 😃

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    • Thank you for reading and sharing my posts with your daughter … the challenges she is facing at 22 yo are so much greater than most people realize… she can not do it alone … she will need a sober network… fortunately, there are wonderful programs available that are low cost in structured sober living facilities where people live in nice homes, go to school or work and live normally with others that are trying to regain control of their lives… I hope you will look into it. The costs are nominal and sober living facilities are available in every city in the country. Google it and at least consider the possibility … I did it for 3 months after rehab and it saved my life … let me know …

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  • Rob you are such an inspiration for everyone that follows this journey with you! Keep living.

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