It’s over… so what’s a sweetheart like you doing in a dump like this?

There must be 50 ways to leave your lover… some of the ones I’ve used landed me in deep legal trouble. I’ve learned a valuable lesson in becoming “free”.

These are the ones that you should avoid at all cost….

1. Do not create a website dedicated to your “ex” or expose every character flaw the person has on Facebook…

2. Do not post the phone number & address and photograph of your “ex” drunk at a club online

3. If your “ex” sues you … and they will… follow the judges orders

4. Do not attack the judge that heard your case involving your “ex” on Facebook or create a website dedicated to destroying his character

5. When you are served with a summons to appear in front of the judge that you have slandered and your “ex” … make it a point to show up

6. When the judge has you arrested for what you’ve posted about your “ex” and him on Facebook and websites.. and sentences you to picking up shit at a dog kennel for 200 hours….. go pick up the dog crap.

7. Prepare to pay $20,000 in fines and restitution for a relationship that started with sex on the third date…

I hope this information has been helpful …..

Historically, I suck at relationships because I don’t know how to listen… I just dive head first into one toxic fiasco after another… My formula is very simple… go on three dates and have sex…. no need to know anything about the person… just have sex and force a relationship to form with no instructions… This has been the recipe for all shattered marriages. Don’t try this at home… believe me! Because I have so much experience in miserable relationships … I wanted to share some insight. In my case, each marriage ended in disaster complicated by my use of drugs and alcohol. I always believed that had my divorces ended sooner… we would not have parted bitter enemies! That never happened.

Love is the most powerful emotion a human being can feel. It’s only about 2 feet above lust! That one has always gotten me in trouble …. When relationships end, the person left behind will always wonder to themselves, “Was anything we had real?” especially if their heart was shattered.

In reality, the only way to end an “it” is to be honest… to express your reasons… and then to simply just walk away. No person wants to be the bad guy …. emotionally rejecting a lover and causing heartache and pain. On the other hand who wants to prolong a situation where we, ourselves, are starting to feel trapped and miserable?

Ending a relationship takes courage when we are walking away from someone who is pulling us down… but ending a relationship can be cowardly if you don’t end it with a little class.

So how do we say goodbye to someone we love, or have loved, without causing another person pain? The answer is simple. You cannot end a relationship without causing pain. But you can lessen the blow to your partner by respecting their emotional well-being, presenting yourself honestly … be clear that it’s time move on… and then walk away!

Walking away from someone who is abusive, has an addiction, or is holding you back from pursing your dreams takes courage on your part. It is also a wake up call to your partner that you respect yourself enough to not keep placing yourself in dangerous situations.

If you’re the one that has been dumped … it is also a wise decision to walk away. Don’t call, text your ex, and especially do not send emails begging this person for a second chance, or writing that you will change and be the person they expect you to be. You are only belittling yourself.

As hurt as you are, and as painful as the situation seems, you also must walk away to regroup. Get yourself a support system and step outside of yourself to see the situation for what it is. That person may have just done you the biggest favor. Sometimes closing the door on the past and walking away from the present is the only way to get to the future.

The challenge in relationships is that each day and with each interaction there is the potential for our feelings to shift up or down. So, how do you decide when the relationship is in trouble or is simply experiencing a momentary blip of bliss or misery?
It’s important to pay attention to the pattern(s) in the relationship. If, over the course, of time the daily blips are repeated and repeated, and your negative feelings continue, then there’s a pattern you might want to be concerned with.

Our inner voice – your true, authentic self – will let you know what’s best in any situation. It’s your compass…your directional force. It will never lead you astray. It’s essential to pay attention to the whispers of your inner voice, those quiet nudges to make a change, go on a different path, and take a new tack in your life.

Healthy relationships, while occasionally causing the partners angst, overall bring joy, happiness and contentment to the individuals. There may be issues, conflicts, disagreements and/or problems, but once these get worked out, the partners are left with and experience satisfaction. They look forward to spending time with the other person. They’re aware of and accept their partner’s ‘quirks’, and deeply respect and like who they’re with. Each person has room to grow as an individual, and their partner understands this will enhance the relationship.

In healthy relationships partners feel good about themselves and the world. They feel deeply respected and cared for. They feel safe.

It takes courage…
It takes courage to take a no-holds barred, clear-eyed look at your relationship. To pay attention to your own feelings and authentic inner voice and give them credence. It takes courage to take charge of your own life and make your own decisions, not swayed by others’ opinions, about what’s important to you.

This is my journey… this is my life

Rob Cantrell