Dear Self,
If you’re reading this, I assume you are struggling to quiet the voice in your head that says you can, or should, drink or use… That you’re not really an addict or alcoholic, or even if you are, it’s not that bad. That it’s just for tonight, you’re an adult and can make your own decisions, and are perfectly capable of enjoying a drink or two, or five or seven, and be perfectly fine overall… besides, it’s your life anyway.
Or, maybe you’re upset. Maybe something bad has happened, or you are afraid might happen soon. Maybe something stressful is going on. Maybe you’re overwhelmed and anxious, and the voice is telling you that you are being ridiculous to “deny yourself” any longer.
Maybe you’re happy and relaxed, and something in your brain is piping up louder and louder. If you’re this happy and relaxed now, a couple of drinks would make that feeling even better. Right? Isn’t that how it works?
Whatever the situation going on, there is always an excuse that we can come up with to drink, if we try hard enough to create it.
Just do this for me (for you), just this once, please.
Just wait until tomorrow.
It’s just for today.
You chose to quit drinking, and you have the complete freedom to choose to drink again at any point.
The reason that you haven’t is because you accepted the truth that once you take that first drink, all bets are off. You came to the conclusion that for you, it is no longer worth the risk.
You may not feel that way now, or today. I get that. I’m not asking you to do this forever, but please just hang on for another day. That’s all I ask.
Love,
Me
I read these words on Christmas Day and wished I’d recited them before the 20 Christmas mornings I ruined by being stoned or hungover. Before the ruined birthday parties, school open houses, disastrous family vacations and 13 trips to rehab. Today is Christmas morning and it is silent in my home. I had the right to destroy holidays where lifelong memories are made. I did not have the right to destroy my children’s.
This is Christmas morning and the silence is deafening. No one is calling me up for favors, and there are no future plans to be made.
This is Christmas morning… and I am sober.
This is my journey… This is my life.
Rob Cantrell