Don’t believe everything your mind tells you about a relapse!

OK …. you’ve relapsed … so what? You’re disappointed and a lot of other people are too. Believe me … you’re not the first to get off track. You’re still alive and you can put it behind you. The world has not ended and Santa will still be stopping by next December… Lighten up and get over yourself!

Why can’t I stop this? I will never be able to quit. Others have done it why can’t I?

I asked myself these questions over and over each time I attempted to get sober. I did everything humanly possible to succeed except the right things… my belief system needed changing… as well as a lot of everything else!

Would you like to know a startling fact…. Statistics show that for every 100 people that make a conscious decision to stop an addictive behavior … (drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, over eating, gambling … etc.) only 3 will be successful in the long run. All 100 honestly intended to change but simply didn’t… Was recovery impossible to achieve or were they weak?

Here are 5 relapse myths that we need to dispel right away:

 1. Relapse is a single event.

Contrary to popular belief, relapse is a process not always a single event. During that process, there are often warning signs in the recovering person’s attitude and behavior.

A relapse begins long before a person actually returns to drinking. A recovering person will usually start thinking and behaving in the same way they did before, while in the grips of their addiction. They can experience a shift in attitude and decide that recovery just isn’t as important to them as it used to be, or they could start to deny they ever had a drinking problem at all.
Learn the signs of relapse and keep it at bay. Remember why you started this recovery journey in the first place and keep some affirmations handy for when the going gets tough.
Most importantly, when you need help, reach out and get it.

2. Relapse Means Failure

Wrong! Wrong! Wrong!

Recovery is ongoing. If you or someone you know relapses, it is completely possible to get back on the path to recovery.
A relapse cannot destroy all of the hard work you’ve put into recovery thus far. Relapse is not the end of your sobriety journey.
The difficulty of restoring recovery will often depend on how far into the relapse you’ve gotten. If you catch a relapse early enough, you may be able to benefit from a quick turn around. But if you’re deep into a relapse before it’s discovered, you may need to enter or re-enter a treatment facility. No matter the depth of your relapse, you CAN restore your sobriety and get back on the right track.

3. People Who Relapse Just Aren’t Motivated Enough

Conquering addiction requires more than just motivation. Sustaining sobriety takes an enormous amount of willpower and willingness to adapt. But anybody can relapse. And the process can be triggered by things like strong emotions, difficult situations, or tempting environments. 

It doesn’t matter if you’re 20 years into sobriety or 20 days in. Mistakes happen, relapses happen. It has less to do with motivation and more to do with how prepared you are for the worst-case scenario. Relapse is a real threat for everyone, that’s why recovery is a lifelong journey.

4. Someone Who Relapses Just Hasn’t Hit “Bottom” Yet

There is no prerequisite “bottom”. Thinking this way perpetuates the dangerous idea that some people are not yet worthy of treatment.

If you feel like you’re sick enough to seek treatment, then by-golly you’re sick enough to seek treatment!
You don’t owe any particular amount of pain and suffering before you’re worthy of recovery. A relapse is a relapse. Anyone can slip up.
The most important part of relapse is your response. Make sure there are people holding you externally accountable for your recovery. Find support in other people who are seeking sobriety. If you have built a good support structure, people will notice changes in your behavior or if you withdraw. If you’ve prepared them for all possibilities, they will be able to intervene and help you.

5. We Shouldn’t Talk About Relapse

Did I say wrong already? Because this is so crazy wrong!

You know that expression “the best offense is a good defense”? Well it rings true in the addiction world. To avoid relapse, you should know as much about it as possible.
Talking about relapse won’t make it come about anymore than talking about a new car will make one magically appear in your driveway. How will you noticed the warning signs if you don’t even know what they are? Talk about it and talk about it often. Tell the people in your life what a relapse might look like and get them in your corner. Help them help you.
Tune into your mental state and be conscious of your behavior so that you’re able to recognize the signs of relapse. If you start seeing those signs, ask for help, sooner rather than later.

I’m not here to condone relapse. I’m here to tell you recovery is possible no matter what kind of bumps you hit along the way.

Knowledge and honesty will be your best weapons in the fight for sobriety.

Understanding the truth about relapse is the first step to avoiding one.

This is my journey … this is my life!

Rob Cantrell